Our ATTACK.WAV show at Cameo Gallery Saturday Night was so much fun. The venue was really great, sound was superb and the bands with whom we shared the bill (little,big and Uncle Monsterface) were nice as hell. We were all being so nice to one another and then commenting on how nice we all were. It’s been a long time since I played with a rock band and I forgot how much I love it! It was a great night.

I had an interesting realization about my self-promotion skills/fears/ignorance that was inspired by the show and the fact that none of my friends showed up. My first thought was hurt feelings and pissed-offishness, which then morphed into thoughts of “if I can’t even get people to come to this band show, they’ll never come out to my solo show, therefore I shall jump in front of this oncoming train.” Slowly I realized that I have to work much harder and much more directly to get people to come to things. Not to mention make sure I am keeping my show karma in check by showing my face at my friends gigs. I am okay about that, but I’m feeling really motivated to be the guy that always shows up for his friends.

The other spot I missed was connecting directly with people to tell them I wanted them to be there. All I really did was post about the event here and on my Facebook page. I think it’s like they teach you in CPR class. You can’t say “someone call 911” because then people will assume that someone else is going to do it. You have to say “You in the blue shirt, call 911.”

It’s scary and awkward and feels so egotistical to self-promote, but I am going to have to get over it, I guess, as I pursue solo-artistness and I am still feeling guided in that direction, so here we go. Fumbling through as best I can. Learning and connecting along the way.

My writing for this past week has been mainly centered around a piece of the show that is tentatively called “Mango.” I am continuing to hunt down string players to perform with me in April and I have set up a preliminary meeting with my director, Adam Fitzgerald, to go through what I have written so far and see what is missing and what needs to go. In so many ways I am excited about validating this work by bringing others into the process, but there are those critics in my head screaming “YOU CAN’T” at the top of their imaginary lungs…to be honest, I still believe them about 75% of the time but there is some willingness and hope propelling me forward and I am so grateful for that.

Onward…

Oh, I posted a new podcast this morning over at mikeypod.com, an interview with Katie Mullins. Please check it out and let me know what you think. She’s a peach.

 

 

2 thoughts on “Karma and Blue Shirts

  1. Eban Crawford

    This hits home a bit. Recently I have been asked why my music production has slowed down so much recently. The person asking assumed it was because of the workload at the museum. That is not the case.

    I am just stuck. It is a bit of fear, a bit of direction change, and the inability to get over things like self promotion and such. It is just a bunch of things, most not even musical, that I have to get over. Probably the worst is the self promotion. I have had trouble with that since the early days of RfL. My internal dialog seems to come up at the worst times and it is always along the lines of, “who do you think cares what you do you big loser.”

    I have a harsh inner critic. He is a bit of a douche. I call him Irwin.

    1. Michael Harren

      Eban, it’s such a tough thing to do! Being in that position of overcoming insecurity to create new work and then having to promote work I am just acting like I believe in. I love that name, Irwin! Irwin must be stopped!

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